At the Kirton-Niner Homestead
Home is where our standards begin.
These aren’t rules for controlling other people. They are the standards we expect of ourselves and the boundaries we maintain in our home.
We will not always agree. We will make mistakes. We will grow and change. But everyone who enters this home should know what we are trying to stand for.
The Youngest Mind Matters
Protect childhood. Encourage curiosity. Listen before assuming that being older makes you wiser.
The decisions adults make today become the world our children inherit tomorrow.
Every Person Begins With Dignity
Young or old, family or visitor, every person deserves basic human dignity.
Trust is earned. Respect grows through behavior. Dignity isn’t something you have to earn.
Tell the Truth—And Be Willing to Correct Yourself
Honesty matters here, especially when it’s uncomfortable.
Say what you know. Distinguish what you believe from what you can prove. If you discover that you were wrong, correct the record.
Truth doesn’t need exaggeration to survive.
Courage Lives Here
Fear is human. Courage means refusing to let fear make every decision.
Speak when something is wrong. Ask for help when you need it. Protect people who cannot yet protect themselves.
Doing the right thing can still be frightening.
Forgiveness Does Not Erase Boundaries
Forgiveness can free us from carrying resentment.
It doesn’t require forgetting what happened, pretending something was acceptable, or allowing harmful behavior to continue.
Forgiveness and accountability can live in the same house.
Everyone Contributes
A household works because people contribute according to their age, ability, circumstances, and responsibilities.
Notice what needs doing. Help where you can. Don’t leave everything for the next person.
Happiness Isn’t Mandatory—But Hope Is Welcome
Nobody has to pretend to be happy here.
Some days hurt.
We can still look for laughter, beauty, gratitude, friendship, purpose, and another reason to try tomorrow.
Gratitude Before Grumbling
Problems deserve attention, but so does everything that’s still good.
Before concentrating entirely on what is missing, remember what remains.
Love Without Possession. Boundaries Without Cruelty.
We can love someone and disagree with them.
We can love someone and tell them no.
We can love someone and give them space.
And loving another person never gives us ownership of their choices.
Serve With a Willing Heart
If you see someone struggling and you’re able to help, help.
Service isn’t about keeping score. Kindness is one of the ways we take care of our household, our neighbors, and our community.
Take Care of Your Space, Spirit, and Speech
Clean up after yourself.
Take care of the land and things entrusted to you.
And remember that words have consequences. Speak to communicate, not merely to wound.
Be Someone Others Can Count On
Keep your commitments.
When circumstances prevent you from doing what you promised, communicate instead of disappearing.
Reliability is built one kept word at a time.
Know Your Worth Without Diminishing Someone Else’s
Stand tall.
Confidence doesn’t require superiority, and humility doesn’t require making yourself small.
There is room at this table for more than one person to matter.
God, the Eternal Father, Comes First in My Faith
My conscience, faith, and relationship with God, the Eternal Father, guide how I choose to live.
Jesus Christ is central to that faith and to my understanding of service, forgiveness, accountability, and eternal family.
Faith in this home should produce better behavior—not an excuse for worse behavior.
And consistent with that faith, every person retains their own conscience and agency.
Speak to People, Not About Them
If there’s a problem that can safely be addressed directly, start there.
Don’t manufacture an audience for a private disagreement.
We speak to understand, clarify, document when necessary, establish boundaries, and solve problems—not simply to stir them.
Animals Are Family
The animals entrusted to this household depend upon us.
Feed them. Protect them. Respect them. Understand that they have needs and personalities of their own.
Our treatment of creatures that depend upon us says something about our character.
Enter With Integrity. Leave With Honor.
You don’t have to believe everything we believe to be welcome here.
You don’t have to become one of us.
But while sharing this home, respect its people, property, animals, boundaries, and peace.
And we owe you the same dignity in return.
THE RULE BEHIND ALL THE RULES
Try to leave people, places, animals, and things better than you found them.
When we fail, we acknowledge it.
When we’ve hurt someone, we make amends where we can.
When someone establishes a reasonable boundary, we respect it.
When we don’t know something, we say so.
When new evidence teaches us something, we learn.
And when life gets difficult, we don’t stop being a family.
Those who remember me may remember me saying:
“I go to the Church of Krysta.”
Today I understand that phrase a little differently.
It doesn’t mean that I am my own god or that everyone else must live according to my beliefs.
It means my conscience is my responsibility.
I am responsible for what I believe, what I teach, how I treat people, what I permit in my home, what I leave for my children, and what I do when I discover that I was wrong.
That’s Shimmer’s house rule.
Does this help®?
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gmc