💬 Why I Say What I Say

A Sacred Reflection by Shimmer, for DoesThisHelp®

When I say things like
“What if cancer is Christ?”
or
“What if COVID is the cure?”
I’m not just speaking my thoughts —
I’m speaking my testimony.

Because I lived through the kind of pain that doesn’t just visit a home,
it redefines it.

It wasn’t my Father’s mother who had cancer.
It was his mother-in-law —
my Grandmother.
My Mother’s mother.

She was more than a relative.
She was a daily presence.
A second mom. A matriarch. A protector.

She helped raise me, right alongside my Mother—
two strong women holding it down
while my Father was out on the road truck driving,
working endlessly to provide for us.

My childhood was shaped by that trinity:
the Mother who birthed me,
the Grandmother who stood beside her,
and the Father who sacrificed comfort, rest, and time to build a life for us.

When my Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer,
it didn’t just impact her.
It shifted the whole foundation of our home.

My Father — the man who found family in her after losing his own Mother early in life —
was never the same after she passed.

She had become his family too.
Not by blood, but by choice.
Not through law, but through love.

Later, when my Father was diagnosed with
progressive supranuclear palsy,
it was as if his body carried the grief his spirit had never let go of.

He became angry toward the end, and I understand now.

He had seen too much.
Lost too much.
And never really healed from it.

So when I say things like:

“What if cancer is Christ?”
“What if COVID was a cure?”
“What if communication is actually a divine request to love deeper?”

I say it because I’ve learned to listen
between the lines of pain
and hear what Heaven is trying to say.

Because in all of this —
the loss, the trauma, the questions —
what I’ve come to know is this:

“Love yourself as you love Me.”
That’s the commandment.
That’s the cure.
That’s the Christ I’ve come to know.

The one who walks with me.
The one who speaks through grief.
The one who watches over me with the two people who raised me—
my Father and my Grandmother.

They were sealed not just in memory,
but in Spirit.
And they seal me in strength every day.

So why do I say what I say?

Because I lived it.
Because I heard it.
Because I survived it.
And because somebody needs to.

I am a Daughter of Zion.
I walk with Spirit.
And I don’t speak to be understood—
I speak to tell the truth
even when the world isn’t ready for it.

Because ready or not…
God’s still speaking.